Step Aside Step Mom Talk

Hello Readers…I’ve been receiving some positive feedback on my book and I’m happy to report  that someone wrote and I quote…”You’re an inspiration”.  My goal was to inspire as many people as possible and since I know I’ve reached at least one individual, I’m inspired to continue sharing my thoughts regarding “blended families” and parenting.  Therefore, that is why I will continue to blog.

My whole purpose in writing my book was to share my story with examples of when I felt I did things right and when I did things wrong.  I wanted to provide an alternate perspective to parenting and I’m so thrilled it has been well received.  In addition, I wanted to share my faith and happily I’ve accomplished that as well.

When I wrote my book I had only six grandchildren…currently I have seven; six girls and one boy.  They are the loves of my life.  Kayla is now 14, Hannah is 11, Isabella is 9, Makenzie is 8, Tyler is 6, Elaina is 2 and Kaliyana will be 1 in June.  I am fortunate enough to work part-time which allows me to care for Kaliyana one day a week.  I have a bond with each of my grandchildren which varies with each child.

I find myself changing in the relationship as they change and grow.  For example, with Kayla becoming a young woman I’ve found my approach has to be different than with the younger children.  As children mature they seem to become somewhat distant but it’s really independence.  They’re not as dependent on you as they form relationships with friends.

This is a little sad but beautiful at the same time.  The love and bond remains although the distance appears.  I’m sharing this because I’ve seen people hurt over little things.  For example; I’ve seen grandparents become upset if grandchildren don’t greet them immediately upon arrival at a family function.

I realize most adults feel the children should come to them…I don’t agree.  Some of my grandchildren greet me as soon as they arrive in my home while others preoccupied with seeing their cousins run right past me.  Sooner or later I go to them or they come round to me.  I believe we must accept changes in our children and move with them not against them.  To keep the bonds strong I feel we need to allow them to flourish as independent people.  My role is to encourage good citizenship with a strong faith and not accept inappropriate behavior.

In life we must pick and choose our battles even with our children and grandchildren.  I believe we must let a lot of the little things go in order to move forward in all our relationships.  What’s most important to me is I know I am loved and I know my children and grandchildren know they are loved and cherished.

Stay tuned for more thoughts…and I welcome your comments as well.

God Bless!

Hello again…

Great News…My book “Step Aside StepMom” is now in paperback and available for purchase on Amazon.com.  It is my personal story about my journey as a step-mom.  My hope is to assist other step parents and blended families with the information I share in my book.  I invite you to take a look and please let me know what you think.  Your feedback is very important to me.

Thanks so much and God Bless!

Kathleen

Hello,

Let me first apologize for taking so long to get back with my family update.  It has been over two years since my last post.  While I have good reasons, I wish to just offer that my family needed me.  Family is the most important aspect of my life and now that things have settled down I feel it’s time to write again.

Since my last post we now have seven grandchildren and all our children are married.  My youngest step-daughter is now a mom for the first time and is turning 28 this year.  In my last post I stated she was thirteen when I became her step mom.  She has grown up into a lovely young woman and my husband and I are very proud of her as we are of all our children.

My step parenting experience has been wonderful as well as challenging at times and I outline that experience in detail in my book entitled “Step Aside StepMom”.  It is available as an e-book on Amazon.com.  I have decided to print the book as a paperback which I hope to approve in the next couple weeks.  The paperback will be available on Amazon as well as other book sources.

I would love to begin some dialogue with readers involving ” blended families” as I can only speak from my perspective.  I know there are so many types of “blended families” and my wish is to communicate those differences with the hope of being some kind of support for one another.  I invite you to respond to this post and I look forward to hearing from you…God Bless!

Kathleen

Hello,
My name is Kathleen and I’ve been a step mom for over ten years. I have been blessed with four wonderful step children and five beautiful grandchildren, with one on the way. Growing up I planned on having my own children which did not work out for me. When I married my second husband, I became an instant “mother” and “grandmother”. The reason I’ve used the quotes with mother and grandmother is due to my strong belief that it is not society who determines that you are the step mom or grandmother it is the children who determine this. In my situation my step children were grown and ranged in age from thirteen through twenty two I became a full-time step mom as the youngest child, a daughter, decided to live with her father which I fully supported.

I can only speak about my personal experience as a step parent as I know there are many other situations involving blended families. As a step mom, I have many stories to share regarding what I refer to as “stepping aside”. Whether the biological parent is in the picture or not, a step parent must understand their role within a blended family. Sometimes the role is extensive and sometimes it is limited but some step parents have a difficult time discerning this role.

In creating this blog I’m hopeful my initial comments here will spark several discussions regarding step parenting beliefs and that your comments and suggestions along with mine will assist others in similar situations who will benefit from our experiences and move forward toward a healthy blended family experience.